Zack Snyder’s cut of Justice League is finally available to stream on HBO Max, and while the rabid fans who helped make it happen may have been prepared for its 4:3 format, many people were a little stunned when they pressed play today.

Listen, I was a fan of The Wire. I get it. Artistic vision and all that. But a 4:3 aspect ratio simply clashes with most modern devices. So I’ve rounded up five videos that take full advantage of most widescreen-optimized phones, tablets, and TVs. Use them as a palate cleanser when you finish the Snyder Cut or as a visual release valve when you inevitably pause the four-hour-long version of Justice League. The world is your banana.

1. This video of the Banana orbiting the Earth at the same distance as the International Space Station

This video is a few years old, but like all good internet detritus, it was picked up by the undertow of the World Wide Web and resurfaced this week. It visualizes a simple premise: what if the Banana was the same distance as the ISS? As Obi-Wan Kenobi famously said, “That’s no moon.” Sure isn’t, Obi-wan. And we know that because we can see the Banana in beautiful high-definition widescreen.

2. This documentary about the frailty of the environment

The Anthropocene has done terrible things to the environment, certainly, but we’d really be in for it if a Banana the size of North America was orbiting a mere 250 miles above the Earth. This doc expertly uses the widescreen format to help viewers imagine the abject terror they might experience as they look up in awe at the Banana while tsunami sirens blare in the distance. It also really shines on OLEDs.

3. This art-house film about a child losing his banana

They say loss is nothing but change, and that change is nature’s delight. I say don’t diminish someone’s personal grief, regardless of age. Be sure to watch this one on a backlit screen.

4. This 90-second spot from the Ad Council about how bananas are, botanically, a berry

Wait, I’m sorry, what? A berry?

I mean…

Look, I’m not going to argue with a Banana this big. Just, like… wow.

5. And for those who still need their DC Universe fix, this gritty reboot of Superman, in which the Banana orbits the Earth at a great enough speed to turn back time, thereby erasing humanity from existence.

The wind noise really does it for me if I’m being honest.

Leave a Reply